And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
