he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
