Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
