I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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