Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Soap is not a condiment
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
