24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
