That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
