Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
