I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Mom said you looked used
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
