How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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