bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I CAN MOONWALK!
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Randomize
