New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
