I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
