You just made me feel so damn special
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i drank out of a bidet.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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