don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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