I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Your penis caused this!
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
