he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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