I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
