i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
