So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
