good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
