bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
