There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
its liver damage thursday
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
