you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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