omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
is wine microwaveable?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
