Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
