Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
