just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
