I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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