yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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