Sponge bath it is.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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