i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
