sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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