SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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