Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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