Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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