have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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