If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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