Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
