no, he came in my armpit
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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