hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
