actually, I'm a sock model
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Drunk is not a location!
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
