I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
