I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
