ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
