hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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