i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
