i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
