dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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