wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
